A Vatican Miracle?

 Has beloved late comedian and TV host Bob Saget been resurrected as Pope Bob? Some sources are convinced. You be the judge: 

I for one am looking forward to The Vatican's Funniest Home Videos, and I'm sure you are, too.

Enough with the bad movie recommendations

OVER the long Labor Day weekend (n.b. for my US audience, the Philippines, like the rest of the world except you, celebrates Labor Day on May 1. It’s a metric holiday.), I went to see the recently released Ryan Coogler film “Sinners,” starring Michael B. Jordan, who Jack-and-Jills it as the gangster twins Smoke and Stack Moore, and the relatively unknown Miles Caton as Sammie “Preacher Boy” Moore, a musical prodigy of the Delta Blues genre. Fun fact: For a brief minute or two at the end of the movie, Moore’s character is depicted by the Blues God Buddy Guy, which is not inappropriate, as Caton himself is an insanely talented musician.

The story is set in 1932 in the Mississippi low country, and centers around the return of the twins, who are World War I veterans and apparently were employed for a time by Al Capone’s organization in Chicago, to their homeland, where they intend to open up a “juke joint” in an old sawmill that they purchase from a local leader of the Ku Klux Klan with the proceeds of whatever it was they were doing in Chicago. Their cousin Sammie, who is the son of a pastor (hence his nickname) is enlisted to provide some music.

I’m not going to get into a whole review of this thing, mainly because this movie pissed me off beyond all possibility of keeping my mouth shut about it. Michael B. Jordan, Mile Caton, and the entire cast did a fantastic job of acting. The music was beyond excellent. The setting – deep in the Jim Crow south at the tail end of the Prohibition Era – offered so many opportunities for a deep, socially profound message, if that’s what the writers and director (Ryan Coogler) wanted. The movie even teased – not just teased, slapped the audience in the face with a profound-sounding idea: “There are legends of people with the gift of making music so true it conjures spirits from the past and the future.” And how did the movie follow that up?

Vampires.

Fucking vampires. Irish folk-singer vampires, as if that matters.

I get that the vampires were probably supposed to be some kind of metaphor, but here’s the thing with vampires: They were frightening, or funny, or intellectually compelling the first 17,823 times the trope was applied to a movie. Here, it just came across as a lazy shortcut past whatever complex and important social message this movie could have delivered.

Honestly, I feel bad that Michael B. Jordan, Miles Caton, and the entire rest of the cast wasted their vast and eminently respectable talents on this piece of garbage. But a paycheck is a paycheck; being in the media, albeit in a far different form, I get that, too.

Again, I’m not interested in doing a full-blown review of the movie, because that’s not actually the point here. “Sinners” was just the latest in a string of bad recommendations that I’ve received, movies that impressed the critics, and more to the point, impressed people that I’ve interacted with, either online or in person, for reasons that, after I’d actually seen the movie in question, were a complete goddamn mystery to me. Here’s a rundown of a few that everyone seemed to completely lose their shit over, and compelled me to go see out of FOMO, that I could not judge as being anything other than stupid as hell after I saw them myself (and regretted spending the money on):

Inglorious Basterds: Fanfic about actual history is the wheelhouse of guys who only need to use two fingers when they whip their weasel. Props to Christoph Walz, who is an appallingly good actor in any role, even in a movie that’s otherwise a complete piece of crap, but the entire rest of this film just had me facepalming.

Pacific Rim: Oh my god, you guys. Please put down the bong, and slowly back away.

Napoleon: Maybe, just maybe, a better treatment of the complicated and vastly intriguing story of Napoleon Bonaparte would have been better-handled if the title role was written in such a way that the actor filling it was actually trying to play Napoleon and not Joaquin Phoenix. Did Ridley Scott not bother to watch the 1970 classic “Waterloo”? Whether he did or didn’t, I hope the ghost of the renowned Rod Steiger came back to slap the piss out of him.

Interstellar: OH MY GOD, this movie. Look, the whole thing ends with the people of Earth building a giant space station to solve the problem of Earth itself becoming untenable. SO WHAT IN THE HELL WAS ALL OF THAT OTHER NONSENSE FOR????

Look, if you like something, you like something, enjoy it. If I think it’s stupid, I will judge you, silently, unless you get in my face about it, and that's the problem. If you express dissent with the popular opinion, expect to be attacked for it. If you're attacking me, expect to be eaten alive; I live and work in a world where nastiness is a way of life, I will shred you in a word-skirmish.  You shouldn't let anyone's opinion stop you from having a good time, and if you feel self-conscious about that opinion differing from yours, that's a you problem. I think the real lesson here is people need to make up their own minds, and let others be if they see things differently. I’m trying; sometimes it feels like I’m the only one, but I’m still trying.

 

My Personal Boycott List

BOYCOTTING companies and brands because of their support for fascism is difficult, because the companies and brands involved are so pervasive. To my mind, however, convenience and utility can never take precedence over morality; the sacrifice of those things is inconsequential compared to the brutality others are suffering under the Trump regime.

The following list is limited, for now, to brands and companies that are available or do business in the Philippines, where I am thankfully located away from the neo-Nazi MAGA madness, and have contributed to Donald Trump’s campaign organizations, either as companies or through their executives on an individual level. For the time being, I am not going to blacklist companies or brands that contribute to the Republican Party in general or to other specific candidates, but those should not be considered exempt. Managing a list and then doing the most important part, actually following it, takes some work; it’s simply easier to do if it’s done in stages.

The primary source of the data for this list is the very excellent app Goods Unite Us, backed up by a little additional research where questions arose. I highly recommend the app, and in my opinion, anyone who is serious about fighting the evil should have it and refer to it often.

The Blacklist as of April 16, 2025

·       Ace Hardware
·       Adidas
·       Agoda
·       Air Canada
·       American Eagle
·       Amway
·       ArmorAll
·       BHP
·       BMW (this one personally hurts, but it’s also not at all surprising)
·       Bausch & Lomb
·       Briggs & Stratton
·       Buffalo Wild Wings (you guys are obnoxious anyway)
·       Burlington
·       Cinnabon (oh, DAMMIT)
·       Clorox (c’mon guys, WTF)
·       Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf (no loss there)
·       Craftsman (your stuff is overpriced, anyway)
·       Cuisinart
·       DHL
·       Dole Food (oof, this is a big one)
·       Epson
·       Evian
·       Farberware
·       Foot Locker
·       GMC
·       Goya Foods
·       Group Danone
·       Guess?
·       Hanes
·       Heinz (FUCK!)
·       Hostess Brands
·       Jeep
·       Jif (Peter Pan has always been better)
·       Kraft Foods Group (another huge one)
·       Kwikset
·       Little Caesars
·       Maserati
·       Milwaukee
·       Nature’s Miracle
·       Pennzoil
·       Permatex
·       Planters
·       Playtex
·       Reebok
·       Ritz Crackers (ouch)
·       Rockport
·       Royal Dutch Shell (yeah, no shit)
·       Russell Hobbs
·       Ruth’s Chris Steak House (the overcooked steak experts)
·       Ryobi
·       Slumberland
·       Smucker’s
·       SpaceX (the only thing that applies here is Starlink)
·       Subaru
·       Texas Roadhouse
·       Weber
·       Wendy’s (where am I supposed to get my fish sandwich now?)

 

I would assume that the local franchisees or subsidiaries of these brands would protest, and foreswear any involvement with politics or support for Donald Trump. (Some wouldn’t, though; he is inexplicably popular with a lot of people here) That’s fine. Compose a public statement unequivocally repudiating Donald Trump and the support of your parent brand or company, post it prominently on your website and/or official social media accounts or send it to me, and it will be duly noted and you will be removed from the list. Otherwise, I will consider you fascist-adjacent jagoffs, not do any business with you, and aggressively encourage others to shun you as well.

 

All eyes on Philippines in case of Russian YouTuber

This is The Manila Times editorial for today, April 10. You can find the commentary as published here. It seems to be a particularly popular piece; it was #2 in our top 5 trending stories this morning, although the last time I checked, it had gotten bumped by my column for today. 

***

PEOPLE in the Philippines, and perhaps even our government officials may not be aware of it, but the Philippines is being widely praised online for its swift arrest of Russian-American YouTuber and streamer Vitaly Zdorovetskiy after he harassed multiple people in Bonifacio Global City. “Prank videos” and “nuisance streaming” are wildly popular and having been growing in recent years, but the mainly American phenomenon is starting to be met with a well-deserved backlash; videos of content creator miscreants being meted harsh consequences for their behavior are nearly as popular as the videos of their antics. Our officials should take heed, and provide the strong example the vast online audience seems to be hoping for.

To recall, Zdorovetskiy was arrested at his hotel in Pasay on April 3 after being declared an “undesirable alien” by the Bureau of Immigration, following several complaints about his actions in BGC on April 1, which were filmed for his livestream on the Kick platform by a still-unnamed Filipino companion. Among other things, the video showed Zdorovetskiy harassing several people, stealing several items, attempting to steal the service firearm from one security guard and a motorcycle from another, and threatening to rob an elderly woman.

Although the BI initially stated they would have Zdorovetskiy deported, at a press conference on April 8 where Zdorovetskiy was presented to the media, a visibly furious Department of Interior and Local Government Sec. Jonvic Remulla said that Zdorovetskiy would be kept in custody to face the numerous criminal charges filed against him. These include unjust vexation, alarm and scandal, and attempted theft. Remulla also added, rather darkly, that Zdorovetskiy would be subjected to “tactical interrogation” in order for the police to learn the name and whereabouts of his cameraman, who is a Filipino, and that individual would face charges as well.

The 33-year-old Zdorovetskiy, who was born in Russia but resides in Florida, has been arrested numerous times for various offenses, all of which were recorded for entertainment content on his YouTube or streaming channels. The most serious of these was an incident in April 2020, in which Zdorovetskiy physically attacked a female jogger, injuring her seriously enough to send her to the hospital. Zdorovetsky was charged with aggravated assault in that case, which came just four months after he was arrested and briefly jailed in Egypt after filming himself climbing the Great Pyramid at Giza. He had at least four arrests between 2014 and 2017 as well, all connected to his “content creation.”

There is no denying that the provocative content of “prank videos” and “nuisance streaming” is popular; Zdorovetskiy’s YouTube channel has more than 10 million subscribers, and he is by no means unique. But there is growing frustration that the behavior of vloggers and streamers eager to cash in on what can be an extremely lucrative business for successful channels is getting out of hand, becoming more provocative, confrontational, and dangerous. The biggest complaints can be heard from successful content creators with more peaceful interests, such as travel, or food, or fashion, who fear that a few bad actors will ruin opportunities for everyone.

That is what makes cases such as that of Vitaly Zdorovetskiy important, beyond addressing the direct physical or emotional harm he inflicted on our citizens, and the evident disrespect for our laws. Everyone agrees that restrictions on online content and expression should be as minimal as they can possibly be, and only imposed to the extent necessary to ensure the safety of others. And even then, how much content moderation and restriction are too much is hotly debated. However, one sure way to prevent the creation of truly unacceptable content in the first place is to make it clear that real-world consequences when laws are violated and communities are threatened will be immediate, consistent, and severe. In that respect, the message of our officials that all visitors are welcome but illegal and disruptive behavior will not be tolerated is appropriate and welcome. It is one thing to say that, however, and quite another to demonstrate it. We urge our law enforcement and court officials to follow through the due process of Mr. Zdorovetskiy’s case as transparently and swiftly as prudence allows.

***

A little bit of additional information that came out since this was written (yesterday morning), and some additional context: In an interview with ANC News, DILG Sec. Remulla said that Zdorovetskiy is facing a total of five charges as of now, and there may be more. There was a separate report that the National Bureau of Investigation's (NBI) cybercrime unit was reviewing whether he could also be charged under the cybercrime or cyberlibel laws. I would think Zdorovetskiy would probably cop one charge out of that, but as it is he's looking at five criminal charges (they don't really make a distinction between felonies or misdemeanors here) that tally up to about 24 years in prison and about P500,000 (about $10,000) in fines, if they really throw the book at him, which they seem inclined to do. 

The Department of Interior and Local Government is a powerful position; besides being the overseer of local government units (from the village level up to provinces), the Secretary is also responsible for the Coast Guard and the Philippine National Police. As an added bonus, Jonvic Remulla's older brother, Jesus Crispin "Boying" Remulla, is the Justice Secretary. 

The Remullas are a powerful political clan in Cavite, the province just south of Metro Manila, and they are not the sort of people you want to piss off. In Jonvic's case (I've met him), he could personally mop the floor with this Zdorovetskiy character if he wanted to; he's a short guy, maybe about 5'5", but he is totally jacked, and apparently has had training on how to use it. 

What Zdorovetskiy is facing now is pretty grim. Having been declared an "undesirable alien" by the Bureau of Immigration, he can be kept in custody indefinitely, or until any legal cases he faces are resolved and they decide to deport him. The BI detention center is called Camp Bagong Diwa, and it is located in a shit neighborhood on the south end of the metropolis; it is populated by foreigners awaiting deportation and/or for their court cases to run their course. If someone is going to just be deported, but has no money to pay for his ticket, a 3-4 year stay in the detention center before the Philippine government puts him on a plane is typical, unless there's some diplomatic reason to expel someone quickly, which there isn't in this fool's case. In the interview with ANC, Remulla said he would expect Zdorovetskiy's court cases to take 2-3 years to complete; then he would be sent to the regular prison to serve out his sentence, and then he would be returned to the detention center to await deportation. 

So at a minimum, this gobnik loser is looking at probably 10 years altogether, and possibly as much as 30 or 32 years. In a Philippine prison, and yes, it's just as bad as you've probably heard or could imagine.